Friends.

Updating finally.

My friends:

- Come into my room randomly with no other reason than to annoy the heck out of me.  But I secretly enjoy it.

- Make food for me <3

- Shove food down my throat even when I don’t ask.

- Come over late at night to keep me company on nights when I can’t sleep.

- Force me to borrow their clothes just so I can look presentable when I go out hahaha.

- Pull all-nighters with me just for the heck of it.  AND cook for me while they’re at it :o

- Motivate me to study harder when I feel like giving up.

- Stick their nasty feet in my face to give me “facial massages.”

- Talk until 5AM when most of us have early classes the next morning.

- Obsess over kpop with me.

- Smack me when I’m being stupid -_- or just for the heck of it.

- Spam my facebook whenever they miss me..  or just feel like annoying me.

- Bring me vitamins so I don’t get sick (even though I end up getting sick anyway).

- Embarrass me often in front of strangers.

- Beg me to go to their computer science class with them, but at the last second decide to skip and walk me home instead HAH.

- Make fun of me like no other.

I’m feeling lovey dovey today.  I like my friends. Even though they can be jerks.  It’s kinda nice having people like this so close by :) I like this set up. They’re irreplaceable.  Untouchable.  Dag it’s 6AM and I’m not going to be getting any sleep any time soon.  But that’s okkkk.  i have a chem quiz in 3 hours niice.  Trish is cooking up a storm in the kitchen.  Timmy is sleeping.  Joanne is FINALLY sleeping.  I’m sitting on the couch staring at my whiteboard filled with chem notes.  Stressed?  Slightly.  Hopeless?  Nah.

Everything in its place.

So…

I was thinking a lot tonight.  I usually do that when I’m bored.  Well, I was thinking about career paths and futures and all that crap.  I always get criticized for wanting to do medical research so I’ve had constant thoughts of switching to something easier and better-paying.  Then I started thinking about all the reasons I had for choosing that specific career. I used to always whine about how confused I was and how I didn’t know if any of this was what God had planned for me.  But now I realized that was all just me trying to run away from what I was made to do.  So now I’m gonna do it.  Or at least die trying.  And no doubt, my mom is my strength and motivation for everything I am and will be doing for the rest of my life.  There is no other person I would dedicate my life to (besides Jesus. heh).

My dad and I had a talk last night.  We talked about my mom.  My dad never talks about my mom.  He told me a lot of stuff I never knew, especially stuff that happened before I was born.  My mom had blood work done while she was pregnant with me and the test results for Down Syndrome came back slightly irregular.  So basically, there was a chance that I would be born with Down Syndrome.  My parents were, of course, devastated, especially because before me, my mom had already had a miscarriage.  HOWEVER, I was born a normal baby :)  That leads us to reason #1 for why I know I was made for a career in medicine/research.  God didn’t help me and my parents dodge that bullet for no reason.  Reason #2 is, of course, my sister.  All HER tests had come out normal before she was born.  And yet……………
It’s kind of crazy thinking about it.  If my mom hadn’t miscarried, I would have been their second and last child.  No autistic baby sister.  That just blows my mind..  But it made me realize that I can’t live without my sister.

God put me in this family for a reason.  Even though my family isn’t perfect, God made me competent enough to be able to do something about it.

So no more whining, Stephanie.

Joanne. No other title needed.

Joanne is my other half.  In the most annoying and non-gay way possible.

1.

J: say you miss me
S: why
J: cuz i know you do
S: no i don’t
J: …
S: jk
S: mu
J: what?
S: mishu
S: -_-
J: what?
S: I MISS YOU DANGIT
J: what?
S: nvm i take it back.
J: ehehe
J: YOU SAID IT
J: YOU SAID IT :p
J: YOU CAVED IN
J: POOOHA!
S: fu
J: WHAT?!
S: fantastic…u
J: aww thanks :)
S: aish

cont’d

S: omg fu
J: i am SOOO fantastic!
J: :D
S: -_____________-
S: go away

cont’d

J: fu
S: i know i’m fantastic
J: no
J: fugly you
S: HATE YOU
S: NO ACRONYM NEEDED

2.

J: can you write on my wall
J: like leave 5 comments
S: …..
S: why
J: do it
S: WHY. i can’t think of anything
J: JUST DO IT
(after i left her 5 comments)
J you suck at comments.
J: i meant like
J: 5 meaningful comments.
S: oh -_-
J: like
S: you should have specified
J: you are beautiful
J: you are pretty
S: WOW
S: i never say that
J: LOL
J: ahahaha
J: can you leave me a nice long one
J: thanks
S: why are you making me do this -_________-

cont’d

J: hehee
J: i’m so bored!
S: JUST TALK TO ME HERE!!!!
J: no
S: you have the privilege of talking to me right now!
J: no

3.

J: hi
S: hi
J: can we play game
S: no
J: whyy
S: i’m not gonna play blockles or go stop.
J: LOL
J: damnit

4.

*a day(?) after joanne told me about her crash diet*
S: eat
J: no
J: diet
S: you’re still doing that?
J: uhh
J: not really
J: ahahha

istillloveyouthoughgoddangitigiveintooeasily

Eye candy.. HAHA

Really quick random entry to balance out my blog after that emo one.

Foreword: I know my previous entry was about how I’m ok with not liking a guy.  That still holds true.  So don’t misinterpret what I’m about to write HAHAHA.

A conversation I had with Eunice:
(she had just sent me a picture of someone… lol)

E: *picture*
E: can you see them?
S: HOLY CRAP
S: OMGGG

(my AIM decided to die right then.)

S: YOOOO
S: my aim even flipped out
S: WTHECK
S: i want to die.
E: HAHAHAHHA
S: good dang OMG
E: hahahhaahha

S: adfjdaf aggghhh
S: I NEED TO MARRY THIS MAN
S: HE JUST BEAT OUT ****** LIKE A MILLION TIMES OVER

E: i think you just had a heart attack
S: i really did.

I know.  “Stop lusting.”  I promise I won’t be like this when I have a boyfriend.

Old feelings. Familiar feelings.

Independent.

That’s what I became (slowly… painfully…) this past year.  Boys had always given me more trouble than they were worth.  Ok honestly, it was never the BOY’S fault though haha.  It was mine for being so fxkadsfkjl sprung on them.  I feel like I depended on guys too much to make me happy. I read through my old diaries a couple of weeks ago and I think it was 90% about boys I liked at the time.  It made me sad -_-

God gave me a good knock on the head during high school.  He finally gave in to my whining and threw me into a relationship (long term, at that) to give me a taste of how it really was.  I liked it at first.  But that soon turned to crap.  Not all the rainbows and butterflies I had expected.  Not saying anything about my boyfriend.  I have no shame to say that he’s the only guy I’ve ever loved and that no guy (before OR after him) treated me as well as he did.  But six months into the relationship, he moved to Kentucky (eff you, Louisville.  I’ll always hate you).  Regardless, after two years of dealing with all the crap that came with a long-distance relationship, I decided to be a jackassidiotbitch and throw it all down the drain, hurting him, myself, and others along the way.  Then I went on my craze to try to find someone else.  I can honestly say that the end of my relationship and the months that followed were the lowest points so far in my life. (First semester at UVA came in at a close second. lol)

So that was the baggage I carried with me, entering UVA.  I got myself into a lot of crap at UVA also.

Ok, fast forward.  I’m not going to talk about that.

It may sound sort of pathetic when I say that these past couple of months are the longest I’ve gone without liking a guy since sixth grade.  But this is honestly, a huge feat for me lol.  These past couple of months were also the first time I’ve felt so… relaxed.  I have no more worries about anything anymore.  I’m finally content with my life, sort of.  I’m too immature for a boyfriend right now and that’s fine with me.  I just wish I figured that out before I made so many dumb mistakes.

No doubt, there are times when old feelings resurface and I kind of wish things had turned out differently.  Tonight is one of those times (which is the reason I wrote all of this).  But I won’t make the same mistakes again.  It’s nice being able to hold my own.  Instead of trying to find the perfect guy, I’ve gotta make myself into the perfect girl.

But that’s going to be hard -_-

The Hurt Locker

Watched “The Hurt Locker” today with a few people. I hadn’t heard of it until Eunjee texted me about it.  I never even saw the trailer before O_o I’m surprised though because it got such high ratings and awesome reviews.

It’s about US soldiers in the Iraq war whose job is to disarm bombs (car bombs, body bombs, etc etc) during combat.  The main guy is so bad@$$ it’s ridiculous.  I loved it.

I was surprised that the director was a woman… lol it definitely was NOT a woman-type of movie. I loved it even more >:]

Oh and the fact that movie tickets were $5 made it even better!  It’s worth watching.  Even though some people didn’t really like it much because the camerawork made them nauseous lol.  But I thought it was fine..  A thousand times better than Cloverfield, at least.  Ok I’ll stop advertising.

Anyway.  Last night I had a dream in a dream in a dream.  It confused the crap out of me.  I was never so happy to wake up in my life.  When I woke up, I found myself curled up into a ball at the foot of my bed.  Those dreams really irritated me -_-;

It’s late.  I should sleep now…  Joanne and Chris are coming tomorrow :)

Sleeping…

Is nice.

Catching up on sleep/sleeping in is also nice :)

I’ll miss this when I go back to UVA.

Since I like sleeping so much, I thought it’d be funny to compile a folder of just pictures of me sleeping.  There. were. so. many…  I’ll upload a few:

i throw my arms above my head when it's hot. I kick my covers all the way off regardless of whether it's hot or cold

i'm not a polite sleeper. note the feet up on my friend's back

i like to sleep upside down.

my favorite place to sleep. library. (right before chris jun drew on me)

i get drawn on a lot.

i wish i were a more attractive sleeper.

i'm not sleeping. i just thought this was funny

Edit:

Just wanted to mention that I bought my second happy meal in a week today.  I’ve gotta stop…  It’s kind of embarrassing x_x but I like the toys :D I got the hamster one today.  Ok I’m done

I can remember my dreams now!

Or at least the ones I’ve been having this past week :)

It’s nice.  It’s fun!  Especially since I’ve never been able to remember any of my dreams before (except a few). I won’t share any of them because some are embarrassing/unimportant aka involve 2PM lol.  But others have given me a lot to think about.

I don’t know why I feel like dreams are such a big deal…  I’ve just always felt like I should take mine seriously.  Especially the ones I end up remembering in detail.  Maybe it’s coincidence but out of those few dreams that I’ve remembered, most, if not all of them came true in one way or another.  Eh I think I think too much into things.  :p I know the dreams I’ve been having recently won’t come true because half of them were about korean boy bands =_= but still.  There are a couple that I’ve written down to keep in mind just in case…

Anyway, I think I was too ambiguous, thus, this entry sucked.

I haven’t updated in a while (again) so I’ll add more.  I have some pictures to upload too.

1st picture.  We recently got wooden floors in my house:
(I took this with my phone :D it’s so NICE not having a broken phone anymore)

living room. it looks so much CLEANER now. partially because we haven't moved other furniture/stuff back in yet lol.

2nd picture.  I’ve recently taken up cooking.  Kind of.  My mom’s been forcing me to learn how to cook from her =_= I think she’s starting to worry for my future husband.

ddukbokki :) i didn't add any vegetables other than onions because i was really hungry and didn't want to take the time to chop stuff up lol

It doesn’t look that appealing..  It looked better on my phone -_-

3rd picture.  I’ve gone fishing a couple of times in the past few weeks.  First time I didn’t catch anything.. I half caught a fish.  Second time, I caught this thing:

my friend told me it was poisonous so i was too scared to get any closer =_=

It’s a skate! aka the most useless thing you could ever catch.  Sigh.  I thought it was cute.  Everyone wanted to just keep it on the sand and let it die because they didn’t want to snag it on their lines..  but I had a fit so my friend and I secretly left it on the shore until it washed away and was saved by the ocean :)

Last (and best) picture:

YO MAMA! TKBC's second home

Pastor Do recently opened his self-serve frozen yogurt shop and I’ve never been more addicted to anything in my life.  This place is the reason my paycheck has been dwindling and my running has become ineffective.  But I’m still happy :D  10 different flavors of froyo, and a million fruit/dry toppings including MOCHI.  I’m in love.

Tarzan and 2PM

Haven’t been updating lately.

Watching Tarzan on Disney channel.  I always disliked this movie for some reason… but it’s actually really good, now that I’m watching it again.

Yeah, this is what I’m doing on the 4th of July. I think it’s my first time not going out to see fireworks in years.

I’ve become pretty anti-social recently.  I don’t know why; I just don’t feel like going out to see people anymore..  I made an exception yesterday for Eunice Park, and I’m glad I did :) We ate pho with Joe and Pastor Dan.  Then went to Yo Mama’s to get froyo.  Ended up staying there for like, two hours, talking with our friends who were working.  Then we left to church for a bit, and ended up going back to Yo Mama, and getting more (free) froyo :p

I think I overdosed on frozen yogurt yesterday.

I’ve really run out of things to talk about..  My wordpress is gonna die soon :/

I’ll update once I think of something.

Gaaaah

Unshakable Hope

The retreat was a huge blessing. Funny how things work out… I went, totally unprepared to be a leader on my own, then at the leaders meeting on the first night, I heard that they were assigning 2 leaders (main leader + co-leader) to each small group so that new leaders wouldn’t be so lost/confused. So I thought I was saved.. Then came the time to find out who was in my small group, and I found out that my main leader couldn’t make it to the retreat. The lady asked me “Do you think you can lead a group on your own?” I hesitated and started stuttering and she cut me off by saying “well you’re gonna have to.” lol OK THEN. So I ended up leading rising freshman girls. Plus a few not so young’ns from TK :p My girls were cool. I’m glad I got the opportunity to do this. God did some cool things at this retreat.

A girl with cerebral palsy got almost completely healed. I saw a guy’s leg grow out an inch and a half right before my eyes (they were uneven due to spinal issues). I got to hold one of my small group girls’ feet as Pastor Shin prayed for HER leg to grow out.

Mark 11:22-23 really hit me. “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

God shows us something small so we can learn to have hope and faith that He can do things much bigger.

I know, I look like one of the students -_-

Random: The group picture this year was so huge that they had to split it up into 3 separate pictures. Awesome.

p.s: I also got thoroughly embarrassed on the last day… I guess this was God’s way of telling me to stop looking at/thinking about things other than Him, especially at a retreat. Eek. Sorry God lol. He definitely gave me exactly what I needed at this retreat. Punishments and all =_= I’ve been humbled ahah.

Edit:

i'm the one in red :)